Aug. 5, 2013, WASHINGTON, DC — If gay lobbyists have their way, opponents of gay marriage will lose the right to work for the federal government and will be banned from receiving federal benefits.

This move was expected after the city council in San Antonio, Texas, drafted rules that punish anybody who has ever shown a bias against gay marriage by denying them the right to run for city office, accept appointments to city positions or bid on city contracts. The Bisexual and Gay-Lesbian Society has asked President Obama to issue executive orders that would deny jobs and federal benefits, including welfare or Social Security payments and income tax returns, to persons who currently possess or have ever demonstrated a bias against homosexual activity or gay marriage.

BAGS is led by Chris Kelley, formerly a bisexual man who transitioned to a homosexual transgender man before having the necessary surgery to become a transvestite transexual female. He said any person who has ever opposed gay marriage or has exhibited any bias toward any gay, transexual, transgender or transvestite has no right to work for or receive benefits from the federal government.

"Those who are intolerant of other people should not be tolerated," he/she said. "The federal government should never offer a job or issue a check to anybody like that. If you've ever been an enemy of equal rights by opposing gay marriage, you shouldn't be getting any food stamps, tax refunds or Social Security payments."

Assistant Attorney General Robin Hyde said the Justice Department is ready to enforce such a ban.

"Denying federal jobs and federal benefits to homophobes is a concept whose time has come," she said. "Hardworking gay, lesbian and transgender citizens should not be forced to see the taxes they pay go to their enemies."

The ban would help President Obama reduce the deficit, according to Deputy Treasury Secretary Ames Teluze.

"We think this ban could significantly reduce the number of tax refund checks the IRS issues every year," he said. "Judging from the success of initiatives against gay marriage, such as Calfiornia's Proposition 8, at least 50 percent of voters don't deserve tax refunds. Keeping that money will help cut the federal deficit by at least $1 trillion per year."

The federal government is alread in the process of identifying homophobic bigots, said Data Chief Maxwell Smart of the National Security Administration.

"We are still in the process of poring through NSA phone and email records to identify gay bigots," he said. "So far we have about 100 million people who cling to the outdated concept that God approves only of marriage between a man and a woman."

Assistant White House Press Chief Liza Lott said President Obama is willing to sign executive orders that are recommended by BAGS with one exception.

"If you once opposed homosexual marriage but now are among its most ardent supporters," he said, "you should still be able to work for and get checks from the federal government. Otherwise, President Bill Clinton, President Jimmy Carter and I would not qualify because we all used to oppose gay marriage until we saw that it was getting to be so popular."